This one’s for the young fellas out there who are looking for a way to impress that special young filly with an extra special date. Anyone can take her to the movies, or out for coffee, or to a dance club, or ZZZZ- what? Where was I? Don’t be anyone! It’s boring! It’s time for you to up your game, and we wise old dudes who have been there and done that have just the thing for you- take her on a picnic! Oh, that might sound as square as a box to you, but think about it- a secluded meadow or a scenic shoreline, just the two of you and all that fresh air, there’s no one else around, and look! You are sitting on a blanket! If your imagination hasn’t kicked in yet, you had better check to see if you have a pulse. So, let’s go over this romantic journey into nature!
The Gear – OK, keeping the food and drinks cool is a must, so grab one of those nifty camp coolers from Chums camping equipment, it’s just the right size for easy carrying to your secluded meadow. Do not bring crumby plastic forks and spoons, pack up some decent real cutlery and wrap them in cloth napkins. Plastic plates are OK, but not the flimsy throwaway kind that droops under a potato salad’s weight, those are for family reunions, not romantic idylls! Melamine is the right choice. Carefully pack a pair of real wine glasses, how clever of you! Splurge on a genuine wicker picnic basket, it’s a timeless classic and it works. Now, the most important thing- the blanket! It has to be big enough for two and the food, and soft enough to be nice to sit on, and so on…
The Food – This is your chance to shine, champ! While it’s OK to get some help from dear old Mom, you want to be able to tell your lovely companion that you made it yourself! Showing up with a plastic box of potato salad from the supermarket deli is so gauche, at least until you are married. Sans Mom, look up potato salad on the internet, find a recipe, and make it! If you can’t manage that, you might have bigger problems. Now, the fried chicken– just kidding! Have you ever actually watched someone eat fried chicken? Gross. Plus, you need your hands grease-free and clean for other activities.
What you want to serve next are those fancy little sandwiches like they have at hotel buffets. Cut the crusts off sliced white bread, slap on some Mayo, add a thin slice of nice cheese, some sliced cucumber, and a slice of salami. Put the top on and cut it diagonally, then spear a green olive with a toothpick and stick it into the top- posh! She will be so impressed that you went to all the trouble! Now break out the bottle you have stashed away, sparkling cider for you youngsters, and a nice bottle of white wine for you young adults! Don’t forget the corkscrew, or all will be lost! “Salute!” –Clink.
We will leave the rest to you, oh romantic master of the picnic arts!
